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vol. i,  issue xvi
June 30, 2003
writeThis
Jun. 2003






vampire

magazine

shut the
fuck
up
evangelical vampire migas
blem vide

how vampires came to be associated with
lost pages in a yugoslavian radio
advertisement for breakfast food


----------

sit your ass down
look


i had a birthmark
on my mind
yesterday
it was a religious mimicry
a lost sloshed memory
of a small victory
at the royal albert hall


yes
it was a bar code
printed across my forehead
god said i was an experiment
of his better to say hers


kiss this sexy
monk bazaar
nightmare


so i opened roget's
thesaurus
to page 333
to cut this nasty
voodoo in half


romance
or
damnation?


on page 334
i saw your
black & white
illustration
of a midnight
nosferatu orgy
to be or not to be
a vicious lust
pin prick
please hold my hand
ma'am
quick


a bite on the neck
of the bride and groom
i thought the Lyceum Ballroom
was a sunken artist brothel


stranger things have escaped
my attention
reculture china
with ketchup
vlad drac
can't drink
dirty blood


i apologize
to my livingroom


if god makes pancakes
   & if pancakes
make mistakes......


.....can orson wells
please tell me
how many vampires
it takes to taste
USDA beef
on the dead end of
a dinner fork?


don't play me any
radio broadcasts
of south american
garlic panics


don't cross
transvestites
with a transylvanian
war of the
rosebuds


don't remind me
of my adolescent
years spent
on a winter sled
in a snow globe


i am a modern
citizen of
babylon
tryin' to get
a vampire
groove on


count shaft blackula
spoon dancing
hippy drip's
stark naked
under a volkswagon
rainbow faucet
closed captioned
for the crooning impaired


you see,
it all started
in the dining room
of a rented house
on top of the proverbial hill


i was huffing imported gas
and staring into earth


i didn't cross my heart


the secret is not
a bram stoker
copyright
infringement


it's not a silver
bullet mystery
of salem's lot


it's a crowded
shopping mall
parking lot


it's two months
of summer sundays


if it's a good thing
it must be too rare
to be studied closely


it's dragging a plow
and coming down
the driveway


i see a jewish
bumpersticker
of junk love


tell me, mr. blem vide
what does a vampire
have to do with
a twisted ankle?


a broken wing flaps
nine possible answers


and only one
will properly
rhyme
with dracula


i pour red wine
down the kitchen sink
and hold on to my
lucky spatula
 
blem vide ©2003
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