"Larry, Larry, Larry.we have you on TV reading "Blood Electric" with her in the background. Obviously you and her got together after the show and had a little fun right?"
"Are you asking me, Cop?"
"Then the two of you went for a stroll downtownwe have three witnesses Larry. Three."
"Good for you Cop. I have two balls. Two."
"Tell me how she got these bite marks Larry"
"Like this Copper!!!"
Larry flies through the airwhoooo hooooohe kills the Cop asshole.
That was worse than the other one. Maybe I Can put them together for someworst ever vampire story. I'm not getting paid enough for this aggrevation.
>From: "Larry" <Larry@google.com>
>To: "Yeti" <askyeti@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Stupid Vampire Story Help
>Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 14:38:47 0400
>Dear Yeti,
>
>
>I told somebody I would write their stupid vampire story. I am having trouble writing it. I want to kill my
>friend and shove maggots up his rectum. Can you meet me at my place later so we can go fuck him up
There were no clouds in the sky so I could see all the stars. Except I live in a city and all the light pollution drowns out starlight. I think the night would look better with clouds instead of just blackness. The moon however is there, hanging low tonight and only showing half of his face. Wouldn't it be cool to only show half my face sometimes?
God this is dumb. I can't write this stupid vampire story. This is dumb. This is like some Hollywood b-movie or some rip off of a good Hollywood movie. I just can't do this. I don't think like a vampire. I needI need beer.
>From: "Larry" <Larry@google.com>
>To: "Jubei Blue" <jubeiblue@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Stupid Vampire Story
>Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 10:41:34 0400
>J, I can't write your stupid vampire story for you. I tried. I tried for hours. I worked like a slave in some
>hot Alabama heat with some stupid cracker yelling at me. I want to choke that cracker. I wanted to beat to
>beat the shit out of him. I pictured your face. I am going over there right now. Goddamn cracker bitch!
>
>
>your friend,
>Larry
>
>
Oh, maybe I should give it another try. Maybe a more Larry edge to it. Something with bugs and a dead hooker. Maybe that would work.
There was a vampire looking dude hanging out by a garbage dumpster. He scared the shit out of me so I ran home. I was 10.
Pfffft. What the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
>From: "Jubei Blue" <jubeiblue@hotmail.com>
>To: "Larry" <Larry@google.com>
>Subject: RE: Stupid Vampire Story
>Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 16:19:14 0400
>larry
>.
>.
>listen just do what you do. write some ol freaky larry shit. remember it has to get done tonight. send me >whatever you got and I'll edit it or something. Man, I am so freakin' busy here at work. Thanks for taking >care of this for me.
>.
>.
>.
>alabama heat? you're one strange guy.
>.
>.
>jtb
>From: "Larry" <Larry@google.com>
>To: "Jubei Blue" <jubeiblue@hotmail.com>
>Subject: Update
>Date: Thu, 26 Jun 2003 19:54:22 0400
>Fuck you and your goddamn dots.
>your friend,
>Larry
>
>ps
>You're going to die bitch!
I'm going to kill him.
"Have you ever seen a vampire?"
"Yeah...when I was ten."
"Really?"
"Yeah..he was standing by a dumpster. It scared the shit out of me."
"Did he get you!" She snickered.
"Yeah...I'm a vampire now."
"Larry, you are so funny. You were great on the show tonight. Oh, look at the moon. Sometimes I wish I could only show half my face."
